Because being gay can be so focused on looks, it’s often hard to concentrate on other parts of your life, like relationships or work.
#Older muscle gay men professional#
It can affect personal and professional growth and act as a roadblock if you let it consume you. Walk into my gym, or others like it, and you can see the sharp increase in the amount of people taking steroids and other growth hormones. JH: Why do you think MD is such a major problem in the gay community?ĭ: MD, in my opinion, is the most widespread, under-diagnosed, and misunderstood disease to hit the gay community since AIDS. The following interview focuses on MD, as experienced through the eyes of one member of the gay community. Thank you for your service wherever you served, however you served, and whatever your motivations for serving.Speaking Out: Muscle Dysmorphia in the Gay CommunityĪccording to Derek (not his real name), an extremely fit-looking 30-year-old corporate manager whose interview follows below, Muscle Dysmorphia (MD) is “perhaps the most serious problem facing gay men aside from HIV/AIDS.” He is not only passionate regarding sharing his own experiences to help others, but also about raising awareness regarding this significant issue for his community.*Ī great deal of information about MD and BDD may be found throughout this website. Took some pictures and posted them on Facebook. Plus, a portion into a smaller, blue cobalt glass urn gifted to us by my Apache minster and her partner. I made up a ceremony invoking the power of my spirit upon the ashes and transferred some of it to plastic storage bags for those friends and family who wanted some. I was by his side with a small group of friends on May 31, 2017, when he breathed his last breath.Įarly this morning, four years to the day, I got up just before sunrise. He had chosen to go into a hospice to spend some time there before deciding he wanted to die at home.
Did I forget to say he was a possessive man, with all the negative traits that entail?īy this time, Nagrom had been hospitalized with gangrene in his feet. I had proven my love for him with action. I had not fucked-up like his previous partner. But I am not quite sure he learnt that lesson. It was proof that, although I had withdrawn from him, I still loved him. This was something I could do – and did – for him, that I felt he needed from me more than mere sex. Eventually, when it was completed, it took me a further three months to catalogue all the artwork in the house – some 500+ pieces. It took me about three years of learning programming languages such as Java and PHP and database systems such as SQLite and MySQL. When he found out that I had taught computing in the UK, he asked me to build him a content management system that would be used to catalogue and manage his art. The Wedding: Nagrom, Medicine Woman, and me, flanked by one guest each on either side. He had a very high sex drive, and I was not going to fulfil that for him. He, of course, could do whatever he wanted. Throughout our entire relationship, I was his monogamous and celibate muscle daddy. I decided to myself that he would never get another opportunity to do that to me again. When I confronted him about it, his response was: “It is what it is.” Shortly after the wedding night, I found myself with chlamydia. He had spent half a lifetime looking for a Daddy, he said, and he had found one with “muscles all over his body”.įast-forward to 2014, and I returned from the UK where I lived all this time to marry him in a ceremony officiated over by an Apache medicine woman and elder, who is also a world-renowned artist and a former International Ms Leather. “Daddy! Daddy! Today I claim you as my Muscle Daddy!” The first words that came out of his mouth were (I am paraphrasing now): There was a knock on the door, and who should walk into the room? The older black Daddy from the foyer. He picked up the phone and ordered pizza. But I was too tired and hungry to get in the mood. He wanted a muscle daddy, and I tried to get into the spirit of things. Anything was better than being stuck in the lobby. In any case, around 5pm, a guy came up to me and invited me to his room for play. I would also have known that I was in the wrong hotel! Had I checked my emails before setting out from Boston, I would have found out that his car had broken down.
Since I had no phone, there was no way he could call me back. I was grateful for the gesture and called the number, but it went straight to voicemail. “Would you like to call him?” he said, handing me his phone.
There I noticed an older Black Daddy with a stylish walking stick and a group of slaves and boys following him around. I had been hanging about in the foyer of the host hotel all this time.